my point of view and basically anything

Capturing through a song the space where i am now
=======
somewhere, lost in the wind
im watching you
sunlight touching your hair
and i remember
somehow, we said that we
would never stray
but somehow weve lost our way
promises, too often spoken
are easily broken apart

and im ready this time
i know that im no longer undecided
no, no
and i dont wanna be
a fool wondering
what might have been

trace of forever lingering
drawing me closer toyou
a new beginning
now i know
there is no doubt
i understand just how fragile
love can be

i cant forget
your memory by me
now i know where i belong….

through everyday
into the night
when we got love to guide us
and i dont wanna be a fool
wondering what might have been
let the loving decide
i can run, i can hide…

im ready to go
my heart will show
that im ready…

search everywhere
nothing compares
with only love to guide us
and i dont wanna be
a fool wondering
what might have been
im wondering what might have been
were gonna find what might have been
ive got to know what might have been

#1
Nadj lies awake thinking of what she just got herself into. A long time ago, her path crossed Fran’s but she never really noticed his existence. Not too long ago, their paths crossed again. Since then, their paths have been intertwined. it was a long time ago since they met but it was not too long ago since she discovered how deeply she has grown to love him.

Nadj is a seemingly sweet and perky girl who prides at the thought that she loves people and that she is easily loved in return by practically anyone. Yes! She’s a people person. You may say she’s a social butterfly but she just delights in relating to people that building rapport with anyone seems innate to her.  A charmer as she claims, it is her skill to make other people to do things for her appearing as if it was their initiative. She likes dressing up, daring and bold. She knows what she wants and deserves. She speaks her mind and is gifted in explaining things down to the last detail (complete with analogies and examples, stories and quotes to back up every point of view or argument).  She thrives in the extremes… either too calm or too tensed, too serious or too lighthearted, too organized or too messy, too independent or too dependent, etc etc.

Here comes Fran, a guy existing in a world of his own. He chooses to live in the comforts of his home, in the security that his neighborhood offers him. He doesn’t like going to social gatherings, not unless he is familiar with the people he’ll see there. He doesn’t like dressing up that you’ll often find him in his usual get up: loose shirt, jeans and sneakers.  He is Mr Nice guy…patient, easy to please, always ready to help and serve others, etc etc (things you’ll think of when you hear the word nice). At first glance, he seems to be soft spoken but wait til he gets warmed up and you wont see him shut his mouth. Theres’ something with the way he carries himself though that most people find him lacking in focus and confidence. He is not comfortable with the idea that he is good (brilliant at that), that he is lovable, beauteous (with just a little work out and he’ll be more than ravishing and stunning) .  He is aware of all the good things about him but chooses not to rightfully acknowledge them. He has grown to live comfortably in the world he created, not choosing to conform to what the society imposes on him. He is extremely passionate yet stubborn.       

Their first encounter was rather odd. It was a case of "hi - hello" meeting, not even backed up with "nice meeting you" lines. Nadj was filled with white cream all over her face when Fran first saw her. He was slightly shocked but Nadj just laughed at him, not at all bothered that a guy saw her that way. "Who cares?" she thought. "Im sleeping and its about time i apply the cream on my face. Never mind if some guy sees me" Fran came over the place to visit Mica, a friend of Nadj. The usual introduction happened. Few moments passed and Nadj was sleeping soundly. Fran thought of Nadj to be elusive, almost impossible to reach. Nadj thought nothing about Fran. This was the first meeting.

Months passed and Fran learned more about Nadj through Mica. He saw her profile on the net, read her articles, and thought that she was interesting. He tried few times to start a conversation with her but he just ended up getting either hi or hello, and goodbye from her.

Few years passed and the two met again. It was Mica’s unintentional intervention that led the two to spend more time together. Of course, they were always out with Mica. There was not a chance for them to get to know each other. The moments just called for them to hear and voice out their thoughts on certain things the three of them happened to discuss at a certain time.

Funny how things turned out unexpectedly.

(Helen Reddy and Ray Burton)

I am woman, hear me roar
In numbers too big to ignore
And I know too much to go back an’ pretend
‘Cause I’ve heard it all before
And I’ve been down there on the floor
No one’s ever gonna keep me down again

I am woman
I am invincible
I am strong
I am woman

I lived life looking for good reasons to be happy….full and alive relationships, successful career, financial stability, etc etc. I operated in the context of scarcity, as if there was always something in me, in my life to be filled in.
I worked on being complete not realizing that I already am. I waited for reasons to be happy.

boy, i missed life!

"Life comes at me with what i have and what i have not.
I may not get what I want.
I may not want what I get.
If I’m not happy with that, too bad!"

This hit me …. big time!

Now I am happy because I choose to be… no circumstances, no reasons.
I just choose to be happy

Johanna, your eyes say you’re Sincerely Sweet

Kind and genuine, you’re the sort of gal who’s always looking out for others
and being a great friend. You have a big heart and can’t help but open it up to
those you’re close with. When you’re that pretty on the inside, you can’t help
but be beautiful on the outside, too.

When it comes to makeup, you like to keep things light and low-key. But that
doesn’t mean you don’t enjoy getting dolled up on special occasions. And when
you do, we’d guess you only add to your already sparkling and sweet self. You
glow girl!

http://web.tickle.com/tests/eyesreveal/

I dream of having my own family, a happy one.

I dream of marriage bound with integrity, sincerity and aunthenticity.

I dream of relationships powered by love and acceptance, seasoned with laughter

I dream of financial freedom

I dream of  making a difference to the lives of as many people

I dream of being anyone I want to be

…loving, caring, accepting,
fabulous, powerful and unstoppable…

I dream of endless realization of great possibilities

I dream, therefore, I become.

Night out with highschool friends…bridal shower with college
friends…my sister’s birthday…sincere conversation with a dear friend….brief
encounter with a new friend…Music and Lyrics…stories of separation, of fighting
and giving-up…old letters and pictures…aahhh! I am now in retrospect.
Reminiscing brings me to the things that happened. Yes!!!…the things that
happened and not the interpretations I created out of those things. I’m
blissful. Some things never change. The past is still the past but I see it now in
a different light. I recapture it. I smile. This very moment is overwhelming. I think not of the fears the future brings. I dwell not into the good things i hope my future brings. I have nothing of the future now except possibilities without
limits. 

To my dearest Lolo Juaning

You are remembered today….

    ….for the great life you lived

    ….for raising a wonderful person that my Dad is

    ….for the gentle touch

    ….for the white hairs you asked me to pluck

    ….for the tears of joy you shed when you watched me sing and
dance

    ….for the birthday money and gifts you gave me (especially
the Sharon Cuneta multiplex )

    ….for bringing me on a trip to Manila when I was three

    ….for the notes you handed me when you were no longer capable of speaking 

    ….for the strength and warmth you showed

    I have so many fond memories of you. I lost you when I was seven but the love you
showered me has always been present in me.

Here’s an overdue post

    I lived in a story wherein my ex thinks I am weak, vulnerable and dependent, thus making me someone not worthy to be considered as a partner in life. It wasn’t true of course. It was a lie — a big lie that I got stuck with for a loooooooong time. He loved me and treated me in the best way he could but my corrupted thoughts gravely affected the way I related to him and his actions towards me.
    So I tried reinventing the past.
    I now live in a story wherein he thinks I’m a great and fabulous person, one who is complete and perfect ( and an ideal mate at that => ) He just sees himself as someone not capable of offering me the things he thinks I deserve. It may also be the case that he’s not willing to be that kind of person. Either way, he thinks not less of me.
    It doesn’t matter if he or anyone sees this as truth or not. In my world, this is the truth. My story now has made me do things that I thought would be hard for me. The greatness that I see in him has overpowered my resentments of him. The strength and wisdom of letting go have consumed me so powerfully that the opportunity of  relating to him with genuine love and acceptance has opened up.
    It is indeed true that we get stuck with what we think other people think of us. If I will have to live in the stories I create, I will rather come up with stories that liberate me and work powerfully for me.
This again, is another landmark experience.

Suppose someone gave you a
pen, a sealed, solid-colored pen.

Now, suppose
someone gave you life…